Last Hope

Why am I doing this again?
I always do.
Why do I try anymore?
It'll happen again.
What am I doing?
Everything's a mess!
Is it selfish for me to wish the world would end?
I'm going to fail.
It's inevitable now.
Why do I keep trying?
How do I keep going?
I wish someone would save me.
That's not how the world works though.
Will light ever shine in my world?
I don't think it can.
I won't let it.
I bring it upon myself.
Why do I keep this up?
What is the point of me existing?
I'm always the third wheel anyway.
Who'd even miss me that much.
I'm not trying to get attention.
I'm not trying to make excuses.
I'm not trying to take it to far.
But it happens anyway.
There's no escape.
I dug my grave.
With my bare hands, I have been digging for years.
I don't want pity.
I want people to hear me.
I want others to have hope and feel good.
I want something selfish as well.
I want someone to be there with me.
I want someone to automatically be with me like all my friends have.
Someone who will be my best friend.
Someone to listen to me ramble.
I know I probably won't find them.
But...
They are my last hope.