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UntitledWords slip from my fingertips
The day seems dark
A contrast of nightlights
The light chill
from something all to mechanical
The low hum spreading slowly
Head aches creating a dull throb
The music of happier days
dims to a slow mix of quiet singing
Sugary soda chilling me
From the inside
As I wait
for what I don't truly
expect to come
As time passes
My mind fills it self with reminders
Of whats to come
what is due
what I need to do
what I cant bring myself to do
Tiredness over runs
despite proper sleep
As I cover myself
from the midday lights
and hide away
in my dark mess of a room.
MarionetteDisappear into there own lives, its a natural thing.
I will always remain, wondering the purpose.
Brought down by forces, mentality becoming downfall.
Falling apart again, the purpose unknown and unexplained.
Feeling alone makes no sense, they surround and disappear.
Breathing is hard, the air runs smooth through.
A puppet on a string, marionette is the new way of life.
I don't know.I cant breath
and Weak legs
down to my knees
through an endless haze
such a heavy pressure
pushing on me
weighting my chest
as my mind reels
as air escapes me once more
Creative InsomniaThrough a sleepless night
and musical inspiration
An insanity temporary
interpreted into creativity
what a live mind
had before itself
and could not reach
brought to light
through drooping eyes
and shaky hands
a head lulling
back and forth to a beat
creating such beauty
as words form lines
pages fill with color
not so coherent
becomes a mindset
as the hour fade
into the lights of day
and your masterpiece
finished as it will be
leads you into
a long awaited
and well needed
to the temporary
with a simple days rest.
Some nightsSome nights,
my mind begins to wander
Stretches of the future,
and past times that I ponder.
alone in a nights peace
I hope for princess stories
like beauty and the beast.
A love everlasting
I hope my future may hold
A lover with open arms
to take me in from the cold.
As I sit alone
on these empty nights
I imagine my lover
not a superhero in tights
but a normal person
with a hand outstretched
and a space in their heart
because I wasn't there just yet.
Mask of Smiles.I reach out to touch my future.
An inevitability that I cannot bear.
Hiding in the shadow of my past.
A perfect little girl I was.
Molded into a beaten new form.
Evolved into a drained being.
Though, my youth is still strongly intact.
I can't hold my head up.
Lately, the sinking feeling,
It comes harder and with more force.
The words sprayed drip with raw emotion.
My lungs have become filled.
I can't bear to awaken with the world.
I lie in velvet darkness.
Awoken for dinner.
Awake for the suns departure.
Asleep for the new days arrival.
All the while confined in myself.
Between for walls that have become my hiding place.
Air rolling in through a machine
in the only window,
blocking almost all natural light
that wishes to invade.
Praying for the summer to never end.
I can't fathom the weight school always brings.
I don't want to see anyone.
I don't want them to see me.
As the work piles up,
and nothing makes sense anymore,
the streaks of liquid stain my face.
Always in private.
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moon
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
the certainty of imminencei.
tomorrow spills over
inevitability-rapt and enveloping,
as wakefulness startles,
i'm caught up in past-time
i forge(t) myself in oblivion
midnight so hollow,
we all stop
with the clocks.
nothing looks the way it did
and i guess it seems
i'm blinkered, brevity-bound
in century footsteps forever stumbling,
always being blindsided
by the passing
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
ScienceI am more than my
F L A W S;
a masterpiece of
S C A R S
a delicacy of
D R E A M S
a sculpture of
B O N E S
R E A C T I O N
a well of
A broken heartI promised myself I'll never fall in love
Whenever I fall in love I feel renewed and happy
But like a drug
Once everything finishes
I'm crying, depressed and the wreckage of my heart
I always end up feeling worse
I want to find someone that is special
But I'm afraid to suffer again
I'm afraid of losing another person
Do not want to suffer
Do not make me suffer, do not lie to me
Do not hurt me, no more
I will not hold on to people who only sink me
I'll be free and live with have left
A cold and lonely spirit.
Last HopeWhy am I doing this again?
I always do.
Why do I try anymore?
It'll happen again.
What am I doing?
Everything's a mess!
Is it selfish for me to wish the world would end?
I'm going to fail.
It's inevitable now.
Why do I keep trying?
How do I keep going?
I wish someone would save me.
That's not how the world works though.
Will light ever shine in my world?
I don't think it can.
I won't let it.
I bring it upon myself.
Why do I keep this up?
What is the point of me existing?
I'm always the third wheel anyway.
Who'd even miss me that much.
I'm not trying to get attention.
I'm not trying to make excuses.
I'm not trying to take it to far.
But it happens anyway.
There's no escape.
I dug my grave.
With my bare hands, I have been digging for years.
I don't want pity.
I want people to hear me.
I want others to have hope and feel good.
I want something selfish as well.
I want someone to be there with me.
I want someone to automatically be with me like all my friends have.
Someone who wil
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